A PLAN.

“A Plan for Glorifying God with Your Physical Health”

POOP GLITTER 🦄✨.

It was February of 2020. I accepted a position working with PBS on a documentary series about “the world of work”. (If you noticed the date, you can anticipate the irony… but that’s another story for another time). During the pre-production phase, we interviewed tons of expert voices- doctors, authors, professors, you name it. One day, we interviewed a woman and she used a phrase that I’d never heard before.

She said, “America has adopted ‘toil glamour’. Somehow, we’ve glamorized the grind of work and productivity.” The phrase stopped me in my tracks. Almost instinctively, my mind pictured a steaming, heaping pile of poop on the floor with glitter piled on top of it. Very demure, I know.

The phrase “toil glamour” stuck with me and my producers as well. We could sense the irony- As a small, four-person team, we were pounding the production pavement too. My boss didn’t get much sleep. I was determined to make the most of the opportunity- getting in early and leaving late… racking myself with anxiety about my efficiency in my new role. In fact, I’d just finished posting on Instagram about my 2nd cup of coffee- a testament to all of my hard work and lack of sleep.

America has a few religions- politics and workism. The “American Dream” is veiled in broken promises contingent upon the grind. We weren’t always like this. We spoke to a professor, Benjamin Hunnicutt, about the lost art of leisure and suggests that placing our identity and holistic human satisfaction in our work is dangerous. Today (2019), 8 in 10 Americans are afflicted by stress, according to a recent Gallup survey, which suggests one of the primary causes is work. 

Contrary to what the media says, there is nothing “glamorous” about working yourself to death. “Death” isn’t hyperbole. Your body needs rest. Working crazy long hours can cause cardiovascular health and weaken your immune system. Doctors and scientists are starting to find correlations between lack of sleep and dementia in patients.  We have to find a way to prioritize rest. It's a way of honoring the temple God has given you.  

The Bible talks about the importance of work, but also emphasizes the importance of rest. Psalms 127:2 says, “In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.” In fact, in Mark 6:31, the disciples are LITERALLY doing the work of Jesus and even HE tells them to “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Jesus was a master rester. Time and time again in scripture he’d work hard, and then pull away to rest and recharge. 

Allow me to be clear: Americans have made their work an idol-  depending on it whole heartedly to give us identity and purpose. We push ourselves tirelessly, thinking that it’ll give us the soul rest, satisfaction, and approval that only God can give. The phrase “toil glamour” reminded me that Satan comes disguised as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14)- presenting created things as a trade off for the creator. 

THE LEGACY YOU CHOOSE

One day, I was cleaning my living room- It was the third time I’d cleaned the house because... well... my toddler. As I tidied up the mantle, I was captivated by a framed picture of my mom. There she was, grinning and hugging Woody the Woodpecker at Universal Studios. She wore an Elementary School "Class of 2002" t-shirt with the matching button pinned. Something stood out to me: I remembered that the picture was printed from a disposable camera.

She was stunning and imperfect. There were little wrinkles under her eyes, strong and defined laugh lines, and a few, tousled , strands of hair over her forehead. The photos I have of my mother are usually printed from a CVS or local print place from the early 2000’s. They’re completely untouched- no filters, no Facetune, no edits. What a gift to experience my mother in the truth of who she was?

It got me to thinking about my own photos. Being married to a photographer, I’m constantly running from the camera. He likes to keep the “integrity” of the subject and I’d rather he just airbrushed me! Erase my wrinkles! Fix my teeth. Magic-marker my scars. Sometimes, it’s second nature to swipe a filter on my photo or video for a more “polished” look. After all, who wouldn’t want to accentuate their positives and diminish their flaws? 

Still. Seeing old photos of my mother (and then grandfather) who are no longer with me… seeing pictures of my Nana as a young girl… it means something. It means something to be transported into an accurate and honest time in the past. When we see old photos from Gordon Parks of Muhammad Ali or Rosa Parks, we are given a gift of an unerring depiction. With AI filters and photo editing, will the next generation experience a photoshopped history? This has made me second-guess my photos. I want to leave a sincere depiction of who I was for Noa and my kids’ kids. 

Image by Gordon Parks

Let’s be honest: I’ll probably still edit my photos for polishing. I'm wrestling with some questions about my own self-acceptance. While I wrestle, I’m deciding to archive the raw, truthful photos of me as well- bushy eyebrows, chipped toe nail polish, and everything in between. I owe it to myself and the generations behind me. I think my family will thank me for it. 

A PRAYER FOR THE PHYSICAL.

Father, we thank you for blessing us with bodies that were intricately and specifically designed for us. We thank you because you said that we were “fearfully and wonderfully made”. Lord, we thank you for your intentionality. We thank you God for all that you have trusted within us, Lord. 

We thank you for our physical bodies. Lord God, we thank you for health and we thank you for the times of affliction that have drawn us closer to you and the times of affliction that have given us a better understanding of your son Jesus’ suffering. We know that you work all things together for the good of those who love you and those that are called according to your purpose. Father, if there is anything in our body that is not of you, we ask that you would remove it right now. Any illness, any spirit of affliction, Father we ask that you would remove it immediately.

Father, reveal your purpose for our bodies. Reveal to us what you intended for our bodies.

God, we rebuke the lies of the devil that tell us that our bodies are our own. we rebuke the lies of the enemy that try to tell us that our bodies are something separate from your innate desire and will for our lives. God, we come against every lie that says that our bodies are not perfect in their design.

Father, you have called our bodies temples, help us to see our bodies the way that you do- as holy ground. Father, in moments of fasting and praying… Remind us that we are to fill ourselves with you and your word. In times of weakness, remind us that we are made strong in that very essence. Help us to rely on you, Lord. 

Father, we ask that you would give us new revelation and insights into the call you’ve placed on our earthly bodies. In Jesus’ name, Amen! 

I TRIED TO WORKOUT FOR 2 WEEKS AND THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED:

I… HATE working out. I’ve tried it all- the city’s gym, a private gym, dance classes, running, and even yoga (before they started asking me to chant mysterious mantras). It’s a point of frustration for me and borderline shame. Why can’t I master this?

I grew up as a super active kid. I was a pop-warner cheerleader as a child. I ran track in middle school. I was the co-captain of my high school’s dance team. I spent 6 years working in fashion- running up and down escalators and lugging around 30 pound boxes. So, why is it SO hard to workout and move my body consistently?

I scroll on social media and see women in cute, coordinating workout sets. They have stylish water tumblers and gym bags. I’m also in awe that they have the audacity to record themselves at the gym! I had stints of Runyon Canyon- but they were leisurely strolls, catching up with friends and eating carbs brunches afterwards. 

So, I cashed in my 2 week free trial at ClassPass. Have you heard about it? They give you a certain amount of credits and you can take different classes all over the city- pilates, boxing, gyms, cycling and tons of others. I took a few pilates classes, a very “interesting” pelvic-centered workout studio, and even boxing! This is what I learned:

1. You need a routine: Since leaving college, I’ve always had a random schedule- every work week in obscurity. Similarly, taking care of a toddler lends itself to spontaneity. You have to ADVOCATE for yourself! My husband was mildly annoyed with me during my 2 week experiment lol. More than anything, he was mildly annoyed that I didn’t have a set schedule. The point is to get into a pattern- so much so that the behavior becomes a way of life.

2. A little goes a long way: I used to think you had to work out for an hour for your workout to count. After 45 minutes of a pilates class… trust me. My thighs and shoulders told a different story. The main thing is to keep going- even if you do it for 15 minute increments… you’re structuring a new identity. 

3. Comfortable with discomfort: Going to different classes every other day meant I was introduced to new teachers, new places and new members every time. It was… uncomfortable feeling like the “new kid on the block” at every turn. For example, I took a boxing class for the first time and I was OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE. I sweated like a HOG. I met some great people and I felt invincible when I left.

Full transparency, when that ClassPass free membership, so did I. Working out in a significant, organized way isn’t cheap. I looked into each of the gyms/workout clubs fees and baybeeee… that’s out for me right now.

Yet and still, I felt great! My body was sore 80% of the time and the pain was exhilarating. I not only felt stronger physically, but I also had a newfound confidence. I slowly began to push myself in other ways too- productivity with work, due diligence with my daughter, and intentionality around my eating.

During this physical toolbox, I plan to revamp my workouts with running. If you see a light skinned, forehead running down the street... wheezing... just mind ya business. I’ll report back soon! Pray for me! LOL!

Xo,

Stevi

VIDEO VIXENS, HEMORRHOIDS, & THE CROSS.

As a woman, we’re constantly being told that we’re not enough. We’re not thin enough, short enough, tall enough. Our hair isn’t long enough, straight enough, short enough, curly enough. Our nose is too big. Our lips are too thin. "My booty is too small. My boobs are shaped weird. My teeth are crooked." There are stretch marks, cellulite, acne scars, hairy eyebrows, and the list goes on and on. 

Like you, I’ve wrestled with this for so many years. Growing up, I was a “cute girl”, but not the bombshell. It always felt as though the goal post for beauty was being moved. At one time, “this look” was “in” and then I’d look up and it was “out”. Other times, it seemed like the goal post for beauty was pushed farther down the field. Just when I thought my curves were coming in, video vixens and my “full-figured” classmates got all of the attention. It was exhausting- mentally, physically and financially (hello). 

When I got to college, I took a class named, “Black women in the media” … or something like that. The class blew open the door of my mind and completely shifted the paradigms I had around beauty. I realized that my insecurities were BY DESIGN- marketing companies depended desperately on my lack of self-worth to pay their shareholders. Makeup brands NEED me to feel like my face is ugly. Clothing brands require me to think my jeans are out of season. Music artists and the entertainment industries pumped me full of objectifying imagery- so much so that I began to lack self worth. Eventually, I decided to stop caring as much. I wasn’t completely free of the societal pressures, but I decided to stick beside my body. 

Then… nine years later, I had a child. Postpartum is a doozy and not just on the body, but on the mind. For two months, I had an existential crisis and barely noticed I had a body. I waking up every 2 hours to feed Noa, concerned about her body weight, and making sure we kept her alive. I was obsessed and focused on surviving. Finally, when I looked in the mirror… I felt completely different. WHO IS THIS? My breasts were swollen with milk, my stomach was still pudgy and completely BLACK bc of some weird, hyperpigmentation effect. My hips were spread apart and… hemorrhoids. 

Over the next year, more change. My hormones caused skin irritation. My hair started to fall out in clumps…my edges were gone. I cried. I stopped breast feeding and the once swollen, tender boobs I had were deflated. I cried. My ab muscles separated and caused bulging. There was loose skin. I cried.  

"Finally, when I looked in the mirror… I felt completely different. WHO IS THIS? My breasts were swollen with milk, my stomach was still pudgy and completely BLACK bc of some weird, hyperpigmentation effect. My hips were spread apart and… hemorrhoids."

Now, almost a year from those tears… I still struggle from time to time.. You probably hoped I’d figured it all out but I haven’t.  The only thing I’ve figured out is this:

This body created life and the fruit of my labor is so beautiful, so divine and a testament to the power God placed in me. This body created lungs, toes, and a brain.  I’d do it again; so the investment of my body was worth the reward. I want to show it some respect and create a newfound intimacy.  Even if you never gave birth to a kid, you have to reframe your relationship to your body. So many of us learn to disassociate from our bodies- either from trauma, stress, or an attempt to simply survive.  Because of this disassociation (which we can talk about in our mental toolbox), we’ve lost appreciation for our temples. 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” I used to think that was just a convicting verse that commanded me not to have premarital sex LOL. It's so much more than that. Ultimately, God wants us to understand that we’re valuable to Him- so much so that His son was crucified…not just for our souls, but for our bodies too. What a gift we have.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” I used to think that was just a convicting verse that told me not to have premarital sex LOL.

In the same book, Paul says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” If our bodies are not our own, but rather…leased from God… how do we honor and steward them? We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” by the one, true God. We’re also called his handiwork. Imagine thinking for a second that what God created wasn’t “good”? 

The fight over our self-worth and esteem isn’t a physical one, but a spiritual one. We’ve been placed in the middle of a war zone where the god of this earth (notice the lowercase “g”) is determined to distort and destroy your identity. How can we best honor these bodies that he’s given us? Inside & out.

WHY A PHYSICAL TOOLBOX?

Lots of us have “body issues”. Some of us are absolutely obsessed- scrutinizing our hips, legs and stomach. Some people live on the scale, studying the numbers like we’re trying to earn a PhD in diffidence. Some of us have a tendency to disassociate from our bodies. Because of trauma, stress, or self-deprecation, we have a tendency to completely abandon our bodies altogether. This twisted and fallen world has beat us down- mentally and physically, and left us to deal with the wreckage.

So how do we honor the vessels that God has given us? If we’re truly “fearfully and wonderfully made”, then how do we steward our temples? What does it mean to physically “feel good”? We’ll discuss body image, nutrition, health/healing, fitness, and overall physical wellness. 

I can’t wait. Let’s get it!