Decembers have typically been hard for me. In fact, last December, I went to dinner with friends and what started off as fun-filled evening ended up as a tearful, sister-circle. My sobbing caught me completely off guard. I was at my wits end- It felt as though I was in the passenger seat of a car, going 100MPH with NO ONE behind the wheel. While the world was planning out their 2024, I was lamenting 2023. The year was filled with so much unexpected change and unexpressed tension in my life.
I always find that there’s just as much expectation around December as January. Every December I have a pattern of ignoring the year behind me- afraid of what I’ll find. Perhaps there will be promises unkept, goals unmet, or irresponsible decisions that’ll accompany me into the next year. To be honest, I am particularly hard on myself and my internal dialogue isn’t the best. I’ve had friends stop me mid-sentence and say, “-Stevi, you’re not giving yourself enough credit” or “You’re being too hard on yourself.” So many of us struggle to counts the wins instead of the losses.
So, this year, I decided to make a change. I bought a new journal for 2025, but I decided to start the entries with all of my WINS from the last 11 months. It was a GAME CHANGER and here’s why:
While writing out the wins of 2024, I was reminded of a scripture in Luke that says, “Wisdom is proven right by its results.” There were some decisions and events at the top of the year that felt strange and even crazy. The visceral feelings of those moments- feelings of fear, insecurity, or pain- can overpower the feelings of gratitude when God shows up. For example, my family moved into a new place in June. The place is… humble to say the least, but a sacrifice for our future. While it was uncomfortable at the time, it has paid off in our finances and family planning now. WISDOM IS PROVEN RIGHT BY ITS RESULTS.
Another reason it’s a game changer? I get to see God’s hand in my life. It’s not just about his provision, but it’s more about his providence. I can see how He’s cared for my soul- answered prayers, comfort during grief, bursts of spiritual revelation or winks of His presence. I have so much to be thankful for and while everything may not be perfect, I tend to move an inch in the right direction every year. It’s still progress.
Ultimately, it’s a disservice to ourselves to have an unbalanced view of the lives we live. It can drastically shift our disposition and impact how we interact with God. Instead of approaching Him with thanksgiving and hopeful expectations, our spirits are filled with resentment and unbelief. Write out your wins and then write out your goals. It’ll make all of the difference.
